Fetish - A sexual attraction to a situation....which is not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature. Yes, I guess you could say that my pre-occupation was a fetish. It is also an obsession, in that I think about it and dwell on it at the expense of other normal trains of thought.
But for me, my chastity passion is something more than just a fetish or an obsession.
Although I find anything to do with male chastity sexually arousing, it is also something beyond a kink - it goes beyond sexual desire.
As I explained in my previous blog post, it is part of who I am. It was there before I even understood it or recognised it. It is there when I am not consciously aware of it.. (I dream chastity dreams, and imagine chastity based scenarios without being aware of the thought until it has occured to me...)
My explanation, my feeling about it, is that it is a biological need. It's not a life essential like food or water, but it is an intense craving and need that is just there, whether I like it or not.
I can only liken it to my need to be a mother before having a child. I craved motherhood. I knew that I was infact a mother, just that I was without a child for many years. When I saw children, I craved to mother them - I know I am a chastity Mistress, even though I have no sub. It is kind of an instinct.
When I did eventually have a child, the first day I came home from hospital I stood at my back door and looked out at the world, and I felt complete and utter happiness. The whole world could have caved in, and I would have been happy. Contentment beyond belief, and that has remained with me for 7 years...
I know that when I get my chastity sub, I will experience those same feelings of complete happiness.
A sense that everything is right with the world.
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