The Reality of Being .. Mistress KeyHolder's Boy

I asked my boy to write an article for my blog with the above title.. He said, simultaneouly, I am just writing an article for your blog...
We are so well matched!

Being Mistress Keyholder's slave...

I have had 4 orgasms this year.  That's since my first contact with Mistress on 1st January 2013.  An average of one orgasm every 50 days.

My last orgasm was before my birthday, 10 weeks, 4 days and 6 hours ago.

The last time cock was allowed out of the chastity cage was 3 weeks, 5 days and 5 hours ago.  Since that time he has not left the cage. Not once.

Not even unlocked - not even when I travelled through airport security. 

Cock has not had the freedom to even get hard for almost 4 weeks.

Mistress has gradually taken control of my life in other ways too.  I don't know where it will stop... and I don't want it to.

I work for her, earning money for her via the computer when I am able.

I am not allowed to look at porn without Mistress Keyholder's permission.  I could cheat, but I don't. It would ruin the point for us both.  She has told me that she intends eventually to stop me from looking at porn at all.

I am not allowed to look at other women - to ogle them.  I am not allowed to note a flash of cleavage, a shapely leg or (my personal achilles heel) a rounded bottom. I am to avert my eyes as I walk past.  Look at the floor. I am mostly successful in this task.

I am not allowed to text other women.  I cannot give out my phone number unless it is strictly for work. If I do receive a text from another woman, I must ask permission before replying.  Mistress has already stopped me texting one woman altogether who she thought was taking too much interest.

Mistress has the right to inspect my phone at any time she chooses.  The first time she did this I had absolutely no idea what was coming.  She handcuffed my hands behind my back.  I thought she was going to tease cock.

But then she took out my phone.

Demanded the password.

Inspected the contents.

Mistress has access to my bank.  That may sound foolish to some and I understand that viewpoint.  But in any case,  she has the password to my bank account and she knows she can go into it any time she wishes.  She can inspect exactly what I have spent and on what.  She can take money from my account. There is nothing stopping her at all from changing the password and locking me out of my own bank account, making me financially dependant on her, if she chooses.  Every week I must provide Mistress with a report detailing my finances, exactly what I have spent over the last 7 days.

Mistress has a liking for tattoos.  I don't have any.  But we have talked about one day... one day... her having me tattooed.  In the location of her choice. With the tattoo of her choice.  She has a fantasy about slowly covering my body in tattoos.  Making me her piece of art.  Not something to be done lightly, we both appreciate.  But in the fullness of time... I really do hope to become her living artwork.

Mistress Keyholder is strict.  She is harsh even. Merciless.  She does not tolerate any outbursts from me and is quick to put me in my place.  But at the same time she is loving.

She is caring.

She cares for cock so incredibly well.

I am in contact with her every day.  Every hour of every day we exchange messages if we don't see each other.  She ensures I am cared for and she enhances my frustration and desperation.

Up until recently Mistress has regularly touched, played with and tormented cock.

She takes him out of the cage, soothes him.  She talks to him and kisses him and shows him how much she loves him.

I had thought it was difficult.

I had thought I was frustrated.

More recently though I am learning otherwise.  I am sensing a change in Mistress Keyholder.

Due to circumstance we have not seen each other for the last four weeks.  During that time her attitude seems to have changed somewhat.  She appears to becoming more and more keen to keep cock locked for longer.  In fact the way she talks suggests almost permanent denial.  She really scares me.

She recently went on holiday.

Whilst on holiday she met another man.  Just an ordinary man who she took a liking to.  And spent more and more time with him, until the last day of her holiday, she kissed him.  Not a peck on the cheek.  A kiss.

Mistress has told me all about this.  In detail.

She told me that as she kissed this other man she thought about telling me about it.  She said this is what really made her heart race and excited her.

Mistress told me all about her feelings and interactions with this man whilst talking to me on Skype. She watched my reactions.  I could feel her eyes boring into me.  I felt...

pathetic.  Weak. Useless.  Because I did not rant and complain.  I accepted.  She told me that I was pathetic.  She could tell by the way I chewed and pursed my lip that cock was truly hers.  She told me she WANTED me to be pathetic.  That my state aroused her dominance.  

Mistress told me that she wants to see this man again.  That she wants him.  She told me that she wants to kiss him in front of me.  That she wants to watch me watching them, to see my reaction.  She wants to torture me.

She told me that the more she becomes involved with the man, the less she will need to release my cock.  I don't think for an instant that she will lose her love of my cock or that she will abandon it.  But instead, she will have less and less need to release it from the cage.  Instead just able to concentrate on what she enjoys the very most.  Denial of cock.

I have spent the last 24 hours in utter, utter turmoil.  I am so incredibly horny, cock feels constantly heavy and keeps swelling up.  My balls ache.  They really really ache.

Mistress has told me that the next time I see her, she will not be playing with cock.  I will not be getting the orgasm I have been begging for.  She has told me that if I am really lucky then I might, I just might, be allowed out of the cage and granted freedom to have a hard cock.  A hard cock that does not get touched.  She wants me to look forward to, to cherish and appreciate the gift of just being allowed to be hard.

I feel that Mistress is stepping up my denial.  That so far has just been a taster of what she is capable of.  That cock is going away for a long time.  That I will experience total, total denial.  

How does this make me feel?

Turmoil.

Torment.

I want to be hard.

I want to be touched.

I want to orgasm.

Like you wouldn't believe.

I know I have no choice. Cock is locked in a steel cage.  He is secured into it with a titanium padlock that impales the head of cock through a PA piercing and prevents cock from being pulled out.  Mistress Keyholder, holds the only key.

I feel such a need to be released.  But at the same time, the feelings of submission are overwhelming me.  To complete distraction.  I know that Mistress Keyholder's denial of cock is all about her pleasure.  I know that any action she takes is all about what will please her.  My need is irrelevant.  She told me - you sought me out.  You wanted chastity.  You knew what I was all about.  And now you are experiencing it.

She tells me I am pathetic.  That is how she wants me.  The more pathetic I become, the more she wants me to be that way and the more merciless she becomes.

So I know, I feel, that I am very genuinely her chastity slave.  A true slave to Mistress Keyholder. I cannot escape - even if I REALLY wanted I can't because she holds my heart. Because I love her and cannot be without her.  

These feelings of submission... stem from knowing how truly I am now her slave.  From her mercilessness and strength.  I love her for it. I worship her, I idolise her. I am so very very conflicted.  My NEED for sexual pleasure, for release, balanced against my NEED to serve.  To be her slave - not in play, but for real.  This conflict eats at me constantly.

Mistress, thank you for taking the choice from me.  WIthout lack of choice I could never have become what you are making me.

I had a fantasy earlier about my promised possible time out of the cage - the possibility of being hard.  I have been fantasising about being hard. How it will feel.  No touching, I know that's not allowed.

But then I imagined... the time coming.

Mistress telling me I had been such a good boy.

I deserved it.

I had been and was truly pathetic.  Her pathetic little boy.

And because of this, because I had pleased her so much, she was going to allow me to keep pleasing her.

She was going to allow me to become more pathetic.

And as I whined and whimpered my pleas, she explained how she would not be removing the cage after all...

In the conclusion of my report I have one last thing to say - a plea to Mistress Keyholder.  In a moment of clarity that will soon be overwhelmed in regret... in the full knowledge of what these words mean... 

Mistress... 

please 

please 

please

I beg you

keep me special.

I am Mistress Keyholder's chastity slave.