One Year On...

It was one year ago today that I received an email. It was a long e.mail that had been written with great care and feeling. It was written from the heart and spoke to me like no message had done before.

It was from a man who didn't live too far from me and was as passionate about chastity as I was. I felt a connection with him, if only for our similar cravings.

Over the next days and weeks we spoke every day, and found out more about each other, until after a few weeks I decided I had to meet this man.

We met, and he made such effort to make that first meeting special and memorable. It was a very special day. It was the day I took on my boy and committed him to my care.

I could never have dreamed on that day that we would be where we are today. I could never have imagined that he could be so well matched to me. We are perfect for each other.

He IS the man who I dreamed of as a teenager. I am so glad I chose to wait for the right man to find me.

He has moved house to be near me, and has devoted himself to me completely.

We made our anniversary special by completing his dependence on me.

I prepared him for it, explaining how it would work and giving him time to come to terms with it, and to back out if he didn't feel it was right.
Today, I went to my boy's house and he gave me his financial dependence. He turned over his bank to me - his cards, his details, everything. He can no longer access his money. He will not know how much he has, how it is being spent, nothing.
He has an allowance of £200 cash and a note book. He has to write down and account for every penny of that money. If he can only account for £180, he will only get £180 in his next allowance. This money is for everything he needs. I will see how long the money lasts before deciding how long the next lot is to last him.

He also gave me an anniversary gift. Two infact. But one... one was very, very special. I will let him tell you what it is.

I always knew my boy existed. I knew somewhere in the world he was there.. I said it often enough in my blog!

Thank goodness he found me. For both of us. We are complete now.

Happy anniversary my love x

Gym Rules

One of the first tasks my boy has had since moving onto my street is to join the local gym. He did this last night while I was there.

He has rules for attending the gym;

1. You are only to go to the gym in my company or with prior permission.

2. You are not allowed to look at other women at the gym or make eye contact with them.

3. You are not allowed to initiate conversation with any other gym users.

4. If a male initiates conversation you may chat. If I woman initiates conversation you may answer politely and then discontinue the conversation unless asked another question, to which you may reply politely.
Any conversations will be reported to me.

5. If cock gets aroused by the sight of another female at the gym this must be reported immediately to me and I will deal with it accordingly.

6. You may not buy any food or drink at the gym. You may only drink the water which is supplied free.

7. You may not use the sauna without me.

You need to leave a reply here on the blog to notify me you have read and agree to these rules.

Breath Play...

My boy wrote this entry some months ago now..

 

The week after my orgasm, Mistress Keyholder came to visit me again.  She wanted to play with a piece of equipment I have owned for some time, but never really used.

It consists of a rubber anaesthetic mask with a tube leading to a rubber bladder.  There is a valve on the tube which can be opened or closed to let in air.  When the valve is closed it creates a sealed unit between the mask, tube and rubber bladder.  The only air that can be breathed is the air in the rubber bladder, through the tube.  The longer the valve is kept closed, the less oxygen there is left in this air as it is taken in and out and in and out  between the lungs and the rubber bladder.

This is what's called a rebreather.

Mistress had me attach the mask over my face and lay on my bed.  Naked except for my cock cage, which she did not remove.  Mistress lay next to me, fully clothed.

At first the valve was open and though my every breath was filled with rubber, I had clean air to sustain me.  Mistress stroked my naked body, vulnerable to her touch.

Then she closed the valve.

Instantly the rubber bladder began to inflate and deflate to the rhythm of my breathing.  Every breath I took was from air inside the bladder. Air that I had breathed already.

Meanwhile Mistress lay beside me, watching.

Her hand on my caged cock.

I felt like a fly, trapped and being examined, inspected by the spider.

(Before I go on I must add that I am aware that breath play can be dangerous, as is Mistress Keyholder.  There are a number of deaths caused by it in the UK every year, although most of those deaths are caused by auto asphyxia - when someone plays alone and there is no-one to rescue them if they pass out.  Nevertheless there are risks involved and we are both aware.)

Mistress had me hold a timer whilst I was trapped in the rebreather.

She wanted to see how long it was before I struggled.

It took about a minute before I was finding it really difficult.

My breath becoming faster and faster, yet receiving no sustenance from the oxygenless air passing into my lungs.

At 1 minute 30 seconds I couldn't take any more and she opened the valve.

I was literally gasping for breath.

She did this again and again.  Whilst playing with the cage.  Telling me to imagine what it would be like to have cock free at that moment.  Oh god how I wanted that!  She wanted me to go longer, but it was so hard.  Stroking my head, stroking my belly, telling me what a good boy I was... 

It became progressively more difficult as each time I didn't get quite long enough before she closed the valve again.

And then....

She made it really hard.

I had not fully recovered before she closed the valve.  I was not ready.  But suddenly was plunged into breathing my own breath again.  A minute into it I began to panic.  My chest was rising and falling, air was going into and out of my lungs, but I just couldn't breathe.  I was panicking.  In truth I was not tied up - I could have taken the mask off at any point, but that felt like something I had no choice about.

So I panicked.

Mistress Keyholder soothed me.

Shushed me.

She did not release me.

She did not show pity.

Instead stroked my head and told me to be calm.

To take it for her.

And I did.

She calmed me down and allowed me to submit to it completely.

My vision clouded, lightheaded, all that existed was Mistress Keyholder.  Softly submitting to my owner.

The feelings... killing me softly... makes me feel like I felt when I first heard this song as a boy.  Willingly submitting to her quietly killing me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NeHAy-Btw0

Luckily Mistress didn't kill me.  She released me and held me quietly, letting me recover as my chest heaved.  Guiding my fingers between her legs she showed me just what taking such control over me had done to her. She told me that at some point she was going to do it to me whilst I was tied up and truly helpless.  She warned me though, that she thought she would REALLY scare me when she did that. Such was her desire and thoughts in her head...

Once I had sufficiently recovered, Mistress needing satisfying after her intense arousal... ............

 

Moving Day

My boy moved into his new house last week. It was, due to circumstances, lesser of an event than I had planned. However, it was still exciting, and is lovely having him so close to me now.

 

-

Yesterday my very best friend and soul mate passed away -

Unexpectedly, in her sleep.

I am grieving.

Nipple play

Pure white, crisp, clean shirt. Meticulous.
Smart man. Professional. Highly respectable job.
Sat in the back of a car together.
In his work, a strong figure. Looked up to. Highly regarded.
In the back of the car, sat, clothed smartly, avoiding my eye contact.
My hand ventures to his top button, and undoes it.
This man, officially clothed, but looking down, as I undo another button.
And I think that it shouldn't be.
That I am unclothing this smart man, revealing his skin,
unsmartening him as I continue to unbutton.
Disrespecting him by spoiling his appearance.
Yet he sits motionless, allowing me.
Occasionally glancing at me,
and looking away.
Intently,
I touch his skin, beneath his shirt.
Towards his nipple.
And my fingers brush over it.
He murmurs.
And I proceed to stroke it,
because his cock is locked away,
I arouse his nipple.
I use it,
as my tool to torment him.
Rolling it, between fingertips, gently,
harder.
Stroking, pulling, squeezing, rubbing, as if it were cock in my hands...
gaining my own pleasure from doing this to him.
Arousing myself by abusing,
the smartly dressed man in his car.

And all the time, cock is locked away in unrelenting steel.
He is held tight.
Restricted.
As I sit on his lap, facing him, I feel
cock pushing up
against me,
trying so hard.
Flicking and jumping about,
desperate.
Wanting attention.

But nipple has me tonight.
Two nipples,
one in each hand,
hurting him.
Pinching,
a smart man, in the back of a car, last night...

And cock...
is locked.

 

Need..

Need.

 
It's a word that is automatically associated with chastity - his need to orgasm, his need for his Mistress, being needy in general because he is so denied, it's breeds need...

It is less, if at all, linked with Mistress. However, I have to tell you, I NEED!

I need my boy like you wouldn't believe. I truly need him.

It's not a dominant thing to say. As Mistress, I am not meant to care or get emotionally involved. But I have never claimed to be heartless. I have always owned up to the fact that I am a caring Mistress.

So, does it weaken me to have such a dependency on my boy? Perhaps in some way, that point could have credibility. But in my opinion, it just serves to prove a fact - that chastity is like air to me. I NEED it. My boy facilitates my breathing. Without him I would suffocate. He enables me to be. And with such a dependency on him, with such closeness, it only means that in return he is evermore closer to me. He is bound to me by his need and mine. We need each other and that need fuels the others'.

He can't escape me because I need him, and because he knows he can't escape - he is destined to a life of denial to please and keep me satisfied, that in turn binds him closer to me. He needs that level of control and because I give it to him, he needs me more... and as he needs me more, his need fuels my love for him.

That in part explains why he was the one who got me. Out the hundreds of men who in the years I have been searching have approached me.. he was the one who won because of his level of devotion. That is what won me. He is devoted to me completely. I could do anything with him. I know I could.
Nobody has offered me the devotion he does, and so he won.

He won MKH.

And there is no escaping me now.

He has a keeper and I have my need fulfilled.

Nothing that I can see will ever break that.